I’m not usually one to mock the misfortunes of others. But – honestly! – nobody can say that Tiger Woods didn’t see it coming! The golfing icon didn’t REALLY expect his lovely Elin not to find out about his sordid affairs with no less than twelve lasses. And in the same vein, does he really expect his sponsors to sit around waiting for him to make up his mind about his date of return to the green? So, if I were Tiger Woods, I wouldn’t dismiss too lightly Paddy Power’s offer of a 5 year sponsorship deal that would have Mr. Woods endorse the sports betting group’s products for a massive $75 million. What’s wild is that the golfer’s agent says that they are “not involved in any discussions to add to his sponsorship portfolio at this time.” Come on, man, by the time this whole affair thing is over, there may not BE a sponsorship portfolio. Methinks that Tiger may be making yet another bad decision…
So, while we’re at it having a go at Tiger Woods, we’ll tell you about the time that the Pope and Woods died on the same day and because of an administrative mix up the Pope went to hell and Tiger Woods went to heaven. The Pope explains the situation to the administrative clerk in hell, and after checking the paperwork admits that there is an error.
“However”, the clerk explains, “it would be 24 hours before it can be rectified”. The next day the Pope is called and Hell’s staff bids him farewell. On the way up, the Pope meets Tiger Woods coming down from heaven and they stop to have a chat.
“Sorry about the mix up”, apologizes the Pope.
“No problem” replied Tiger Woods.
Pope: “I am really anxious to get to heaven.”
Tiger: “Why is that?”
Pope: “All my life I have wanted to meet the Virgin Mary.”
Tiger: “You’re a day late.”
Tags: Gambling Jokes, Tiger Woods