Oops. Robert McIntosh may have had the perfect reason for forgetting his wife’s 47th birthday, but as far as she is concerned, even winning the lottery is not good enough. After winning the UK Lottery and taking home £4,460,495, McIntosh felt that he could finally pamper his wife. But what he didn’t remember was her birthday one week after the win, leading her to whine: “The Lottery win is the best birthday present I’ve had in 47 years but I’m hoping I’ll get a special gift now. The budget should have gone up a fair bit.” Doesn’t look like Susan is going anywhere right now, though, even if he never remembers her birthday again, after seeing the seven digit figure in their bank account…
An old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window: “I want to open a damn checking account.” The stunned woman replies: “I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?” “Listen up, damn it,” he snarls. “I said I want to open a damn checking account right now!” The woman says as patiently as she can manage: “I’m very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank.” She then leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her situation. They both return and the manager asks the old guy: “What seems to be the problem here?” “There’s no friggin’ problem, dammit!” yells the man. “I just won $50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!” “I see,” says the manager, “and this damn woman is giving you a hard time, is she?”
