Schwarzenegger Takes on Casino ATMs

If it wasn’t so sad, it would be quite funny. It was revealed to California Governor Arnold Schwarzegger this week that welfare recipients in his state were using their state issued welfare debit cards to withdraw cash on casino floors. After learning about this, Schwarzenegger was apparently shocked and amazed. So, let’s analyze this for a moment. If welfare recipients are given a debit card that actually allows them to withdraw cash on a casino floor, the chances are they are going to do so. Doesn’t take much brains to work that one out….

A cowboy was travelling down a dirt path when he suddenly came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine. The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake. “Hold on there, partner,” said the snake, “Don’t shoot – I’m an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don’t shoot me, I’ll give you any three wishes you want.” The cowboy decided to take a chance. He knew he was safely out of the snake’s striking range. He said, “OK, first, I’d like to have a face like Clark Gable, then, I’d like a build like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and finally, I’d like sexual equipment like this here horse I’m riding.” The rattlesnake said, “All right, when you get back to the bunk house you’ll have all three wishes.” The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full speed all the way to the bunk house. He dismounted on the run and went straight inside to the mirror. Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of Clark Gable. He ripped the shirt off his back and revealed bulging, rippling muscles, just like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Really excited now, he tore down his jeans, looked at his crotch and shouted… “Oh My God… I was riding the MARE!”