Archive for July, 2010

Bets on Ronaldo Baby as Soccer Star Stays Mum

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

Sometimes the headlines in the online gambling world are just too weird to believe. I nearly did a double flip when I read today that Portuguese soccer star and self-professed playboy, Cristiano Ronaldo told the world via Facebook – no less – that he has become a dad. Even more surreal was the fact that Ronaldo told his fans that he would be bringing the child up by himself and that the mother’s identity would remain private. Of course, bookie sites take that as a sign that they just have to open betting markets because EVERYONE will be speculating about the new yummy mummy. Odds are also being offered on the name that the soccer star will be naming his kid, with Jose (for the player’s father) being a favorite at 5/1. By the way, if you’re into long term bets, wager on Ronaldo Junior playing one day for Portugal. Odds? 25/1!

 AND I’ve already picked up on some jokes doing the rounds that refer to Ronaldo’s announcement:

* Imagine how proud dad’s going to be when the kid throws his toys out of the pram for the first time.

* The crying, the temper tantrums… the baby’s never going to get any rest with all that racket coming from dad’s room.

* The boy takes after his father – dribbles constantly.

* Now there will be more than one dummy in the Cristiano Ronaldo house.

Oops… I Won $250K!

Monday, July 5th, 2010

Ahhhhh!  I love heartwarming stories where simple errors turn into life-changing events. Last week, a store clerk sold a lottery ticket to a customer but forgot to add an extra game to the ticket. As a result, she had to reprint a new ticket and buy the $2 dud ticket herself. And here’s the good bit: Naomi Mauller was stunned to find that her mistake earned her ticket and its twin $250,000 each!  Mauller’s boss called her early at home and told her that two numbers at the store at hit, and that they had twin numbers, except for an extra number on one of them. “My wheels started rolling and I thought, oh my God, I bought the ticket a customer didn’t want. I told Mike, and he said to get down to the store and check the numbers. And when I did, it was a winner,” recalled an ecstatic Mauller.

And I’ll end off with a letter written by an unhappy lottery player:

 

Dear State Lottery Commission:

I know I chose the winning numbers for Wednesday’s Lotto drawing.

But upon further review, it appears the incorrect numbers appeared on my ticket. How could this happen? The root cause of this dilemma is the form I filled out to get my ticket. The form is very confusing. I thought I was choosing one set of numbers, (the winning numbers), when in reality I chose a completely different set of numbers. The numbers and boxes on the form are so close together, it’s impossible to determine which box to fill in for which number.

I checked with at least 3,000 other people, and they all had the exact same problem. I’m sure if you review the form I filled out, it will become very clear that I’m entitled to the money from Wednesday’s drawing.

Please reply with the date, time, and location, for me to collect the winnings due to me.

Thank you for your assistance in this matter.

Beware Bwin Misquotes

Monday, July 5th, 2010

I had to chuckle this week when I read about the famous misquote printed by an Austrian newspaper. For those in the know, you’ll remember that Party Gaming and Bwin have been involved in intense negotiations to form one of the biggest mergers to be seen in the gambling industry. The guys do all their talking behind closed doors and won’t say a thing about the progress. Until, finally, along comes the chairman of Bwin Hannes Androsch, who finally opens his mouth just a bit to speak about the merger and he gets his statement misquoted by Trend.  Androsch was quoted as saying: “It is true, that talks with the English company ultimately did not lead to the desired outcome.”  Media resources went agog with the news that talks between Party Gaming and Bwin had ‘failed’, reporting it across every medium available. BUT -what the poor man actually said in the interview was: “It is true, that up until now talks have not lead to any specific outcome.”  Amazing what a difference four words can make!!

So, in honor of quotes and sports betting, here are a couple of profound one liners by David Coleman, former English sports commentator:

 “The Republic of China – back in the Olympic Games for the first time.”

 “We estimate, and this isn’t an estimation, that Greta Waitz is 80 seconds behind.”

 “That’s the fastest time ever run – but it’s not as fast as the world record.”

 “He is accelerating all the time. That last lap was run in 64 seconds and the one before in 62.”