BonusRating

Every season, I’ve taken to placing bets on my favorite singers in American Idol. I have to admit that I love the show, corny judges and all. Hell, I even liked Paula! But then I read that all the great judges were leaving, including Simon Cowell (how COULD he??), leaving lil’ ol’ Randy all on his lonesome. On Wednesday, Ryan announced the new judges for the show, including Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler and I’m wondering how these guys will fit into such HUGE shoes left behind. Methinks that the choices for judges this season won’t set the betting sites alight and that many Idol addicts will find that this is a good a reason as ever to wean themselves off the show once and for all.

Backstage, people are saying: “Are you still here?”

I read this week that authorities in the far flung Chinese province of Shanxi punished 300 contract employees after they were caught gambling and (gasp) singing karaoke. Most of these sinful workers were given warnings or demerits but 14 of them were fired. I kept wondering how they determined who got to stay and who were let go – maybe based on how bad their rendition of Michael Jackson’s “I’m Bad” was in the Karaoke part of the evening? Recently, Chinese authorities have been cracking down on workers who have been discovered skipping their places of work in order to visit places of entertainment or clubs during office hours. Seven were even found taking a bath at a club on Friday, while others played it safe and only did some tame gambling….

A Chinese guy walks into a bar late one night and sees Steven Spielberg. Thrilled, he runs up to give him a hug and ask for his autograph, and is stunned when Spielberg slaps him away. “Why?” asks the shocked fan. “Coz you guys bombed Pearl Harbor!” says Spielberg.

Edmonton, Canada Archbishop Richard Smith may have to fork out money from his own diocese to make up the losses facing Catholic schools, community groups and organizations, after he decided to make a moral issue out of gambling. His holiness decided that, effective October, these groups won’t be allowed to accept funds that are generated from gambling sources. Problem is that groups such as Edmonton School Board count desperately on the millions generated by lottery funds. “This funding is critical for our schools,” said Lori Nagy of the Board. So what’s more immoral, Archbishop Smith – to enjoy a spin on the slot machine or to deny thousands of kids with a warm lunch each day when their funding runs out? Food for thought, huh?

In the (holy) spirit of things:

I did a double take this week when I saw new data released by those market research guys at Nielsen. According to the group, online gambling in the United Kingdom grew faster than social networking sites such as Facebook. I mean, everyone who is anyone has Facebook, right? So you mean that out of ALL those people that you know who have Facebook, even MORE in numbers play at online gambling sites? Incredible!  But not surprising, considering how entertaining these sites really are. So for all of you who are fixated with numbers and statistics, an additional 3.2 million people visited online gambling sites last year in the UK – a 40% jump from the previous year’s stats. This is compared to the 2.2 million who accessed social networking sites such as Facebook. Kudos to online gambling!!

In honor of Facebook, here are a couple of one-liners:

Q: Why is Facebook a great site for loners?
A: Because it’s the only place in the world where they can talk to a wall and not be considered a loser!

Q: What happened when hackers shut down Twitter for a day?
A: Users had to go back to communicating the old fashioned way – via Facebook!

And…. You know you’re a Facebook addict if:

You read articles that list reasons about being addicted to Facebook.
Your dreams involve around people writing messages on your wall.
You’ve already checked your Facebook account three times before finishing this list!

A Chinese player has stunned management at Jackpot City online casino by turning down the £4,444 prize, claiming that all those fours in the winning total may be a harbinger of death.  So concerned is ‘Terry Maverick’ with the win that he believes that if he accepts the prize, bad luck will come to him and his family.  “It is a first for us, where a player refuses to accept the cheque for their winnings. According to Chinese culture the number 4 is pronounced like the word for death and is considered as a very unlucky number,” said a spokesperson for the casino. “We’re still talking to the player and working out the best approach to handle this, which is sensitive to the player’s beliefs and concerns, but ensures that he does not lose out on his winnings.”  Er, perhaps he’d like to make a donation … my bank details can be forwarded at any time….

“A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich.
He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead.
As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for your sandwich!”
The panda yells back at the manager, “Hey, man, I’m a PANDA! Look it up!”
The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:
A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”

Courtesy of ChineseJokes.net

I really do try and have sympathy for people who get caught up in lottery scams, but honestly, sometimes you just want to shake these suckers for believing everything they’re told. The latest scam used none other than the late Princess Di as a front to cheat people out of literally millions of dollars. Victims were told that they had inherited millions from distant relatives (sigh) and to get the money they would need to give out their bank account and personal information (double sigh) to win the Princess Diana Lottery.  SO this is a reminder, people – DON’T give out your personal information. DON’T send out your bank details. DON’T believe that you’ve won the lottery that’s named after a distant and dead princess unless you’ve been given proper proof!

And in the scam vein, here’s a good one from Joke Buddha:

WARNING! PLEASE READ IMMEDIATELY! THIS IS SERIOUS! If you get an envelope from a company called the Internal Revenue Service,” DO NOT OPEN IT! This group operates a scam around this time every year. Their letter claims that you owe them money, which they will take and use to pay for the operation of essential functions of the United States government. This is untrue! The money the IRS collects is used to fund various inefficient and pointless social engineering projects. This organization has ties to another shady outfit called the Social Security Administration, who claim to take money from your regular paychecks and save it for your retirement. In truth, the SSA uses the money to pay for the same misguided make-work projects the IRS helps mastermind. These scam artists have bilked honest, hard working Americans out of billions of dollars. Don’t be among them! FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!