Archive for September, 2010

Philly Casinos Welcome Mobsters with Open Arms

Friday, September 3rd, 2010

This is interesting news: New Jersey has a list that includes the names of about 200 people who can’t put their foot into a local casino because they are casino cheats, convicted felons or mobsters. Now, just next door, you have Philadelphia which has a similar list – with the grand total of four (!) names. This basically means that if a mob boss feels like a game of blackjack and knows that he won’t be allowed in to his local casino, all he has to do is hop over the state line and – voila! – he’ll be welcomed with open arms. “You look at the New Jersey list, and you piggyback off of that. Any wise guys from this area that are on the Jersey list ought to be on the Pennsylvania list,” said crime reporter George Anastasia. “It’s about the integrity of gambling, and you don’t want those kinds of individuals around the casinos.”Vinny and Sal are out in the woods hunting when suddenly Sal grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. Vinny whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, “I think Sal is dead! What should I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, “Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence .. and then a shot is heard. Vinny’s voice comes back on the line, “Okay… now what?”

Q: What do you get when you cross a mobster and an exorcist?

A: Beats the hell out of me!

MP in Gambling Trouble Down Under

Wednesday, September 1st, 2010

Oh dear! A member of the Australian parliament has been forced to resign after he was caught using his office computer to trawl adult and online gambling sites. Paul McLeay was forced to resign, after he was rapped by the Premier for his behavior. After saying that this was not the behavior she expected of a Minister, Premier Kristina Keneally then went on to say: “Some people may choose to undertake similar activities in their personal lives, but I cannot condone the use of parliamentary resources by a minister in this way.” So let me get this clear. It’s totally ok to watch porn and gamble online if you’re at home but you should maybe give it a break when you hit the office. What a cool premier! The red-faced Labor MP could only mumble an apology to his wife and family…

And so, in honor of Australian family honor, thanks to ConvictCreations:

“An old Australian lies dying in his bed. He calls over Shirley, his faithful wife of 60 years, and says, “Shirl, when we started out, tried to buy a business in the depression, went bust: you were with me” “Oh, yes, Bruce”, she says. Then the war started, I joined up, and was sent to the front line, where I lost me legs. You stayed with me.” “Oh yes, Bruce” she says. “Then, came home, couldn’t get a job, due to me disability, and bought a farm.” “Oh, yes, Bruce”, she says. “The farm flooded, then just when we got over that, there was a bushfire, and then the drought, which wiped us right out: you still stayed with me.” “Oh yes, Bruce,” “Now here I am, in excruciating pain, about to die, useless and you’re still with me.” “Yes Bruce.” “Shirl.” “Yes, Bruce?” “You’re bloody bad luck”