NFL Violence … of a Different Kind

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It’s NFL season and the excitement of this time of this year is almost tangible. Sports betting sites are geared for action, Monday night games become the highlight of your social week and bets are being placed left, right and center. This week, the NFL dampened that excitement somewhat by imposing huge fines on three players for illegal hits. The league warned that it would even suspend players for violent conduct – leading to protests across the board by players, fans and managers alike.

So it got me thinking about NFL violence of a different kind. I wonder if anybody’s ever checked to see whether the rate of wives murdering husbands climbs over NFL season. We’ve all heard the terms ‘NFL widow’ when wives resign themselves to the fact that they won’t be seeing their better halves until the final game of the season. But behind that term are millions of screaming, seething women who CANNOT be blamed for turning to violence during NFL season.

You know the scenario – She stands hysterically with her back up against the 42” screen, arms flaying like a windmill, hair in the air with static, yelling something that sounds like: “The #@($ kitchen sink is blocked-the dog has diarrhea-the baby has a fever-the $*&# car needs tuning.” Any jury – male or female – will let that girl walk free from her murder trial when she describes the cracking point – when her NFL junkie shifted his butt in the sofa that had already taken his body’s shape, lifted the remote control high to try and get the volume up, and – intentionally or unintentionally – gave the biggest burp heard from his Red Bull lined intestines. Justification for murder? You bet!

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