Pensioner Lottery Winner Too Shocked to Drive Home

I am a true sucker for the emotional angle of lottery wins. Behind all those numbers are real life people who suddenly have their lives turned upside down and inside out after finding out that they’ve won a cool million (or two or ten or one hundred….). I loved this week’s tale of a 77 year old pensioner who drove herself down to her local newsagent in Scotland to check the lottery numbers, where she was told that she had won just over £1,1500,000, making her the 2,500th lottery millionaire! Annette Brown was so stunned by the news that she couldn’t drive herself home and had to be taken to her modest house by the shop assistant! In the meantime, the £112 million prize won in the Euro Millions lottery last week still remains unclaimed!!

In honor of pensioners and courtesy of ComedyZone:
“Dr. Jones goes to the retirement home for his monthly rounds. He sees Joe and asks him, “Joe, how much is three times three?”
Joe responds “59.”
He goes over to Tom and asks, “Tom, how much is three times three?”
Tom responds, “Wednesday.”
He finally goes over to John and asks, “John, how much is three times three?”
“NINE” replies John.
“That’s right,” said Dr. Jones, relieved to find someone still with his wits about him. “Now how did you come to that answer?”
“It was easy,” said John “I just subtracted 59 from Wednesday!”