BonusRating

What teen girl wouldn’t want to get her hands on a lock of hair belonging to Justin Bieber? But when that single lock sells for $40,000, I guess it’s a wee bit above their budget. However, Golden Palace online casino was able to pay that very amount for the lock of hair put up for auction by Ellen DeGeneres after the Bieb gave it to her as a birthday gift. The online casino paid the vast amount as an ongoing publicity stunt of picking up the weirdest and whackiest items at auctions where proceeds are donated to charity. The forty grand will be donated to the Gentle Barn, an organization that takes care of abused animals and special needs kids. Golden Palace knows that many will pay an arm and a leg just to see the hair, and so will set the Bieber locks out on a tour of their own and all money collected will be donated as well. I guess it’s a win-win situation for all involved.

OK, so here’s a disclaimer: I like the kid BUT I cannot ignore some of the jokes doing the rounds about him on the internet, such as these:

Justine Bieber crossed the road to beat a chicken but came back crying because the chicken won.

Bieber’s mom often tells his friends stories of when he was little. It’s not that hard… they’re only from a few months ago…

Talk about wasting the tax payer’s money on empty words: A top (public servant) health officer in British Columbia, Canada, has recommended that the British Columbia Lottery Corp not go ahead with plans to build a multi million dollar casino complex in Vancouver because he wasn’t sure how it effects the health of the city dwellers. Dr. John Carsley stood up at a public meeting and said that “given the uncertainty of the effect on problem gambling,” he was recommending against the casino. It has even been said that problem gambling is a ‘serious national disease’. However, the Public Safety Minister said that there are always funds available for gambling treatment services based on demand and if they are needed, they will be released. “A couple of years ago we had an $8-million budget but we didn’t use it because we didn’t have people that were asking for the service so we adjusted the budgets to meet the needs,” the minister said.

This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?”

A group of Land Rover factory workers in the UK were left absolutely gutted after they missed out on a massive lottery win … due to a broken machine. The group always picks the same numbers when they play the lottery and the day before the February 23rd draw was no different as one of them headed off to purchase their weekly ticket. However, the lottery machine at their local shop wasn’t working so they decided to give it a miss. Imagine their absolute horror when they watched the winning numbers being drawn that Saturday, only to see their same numbers come up. If they had purchased the lottery ticket, they would have each taken home nearly £30,000 – a lot of money for car factory workers. “What you could do with that kind of cash doesn’t bear thinking about,” said a source from the factory.

You know you’re a Land Rover owner when:

The best route from A to B is through the mud.
When a scratch or a dent is a beauty mark.
You puke when you see a Geo Tracker.
Everyone thinks you bought a new car after you wash yours.
Every page of your repair manual has fingerprints.
You think mud brown should be a factory color.
Your wife refuses to get in.
Your child’s first word isn’t mama or dada – it’s Rover!

Don’t you love those academic studies where the results make you react, “well DUH!”. So a certain Professor Huettel decided that he was going to study 29 young, healthy volunteers by keeping them awake all night and then sending them off on their merry way to gamble. The results of the study showed (and here’s the prompt to say “well duh”) that when rested, the volunteers showed a more cautious pattern of behavior. However, when they were sleep deprived, they became less sensitive to potentially dangerous outcomes and threw caution to the win when it came to gambling activities. One of the authors of the study wrote: “Late-night gamblers are fighting more than just the unfavorable odds of gambling machines. They are fighting a sleep-deprived brain’s tendency to implicitly seek gains while discounting the impact of potential losses.” You don’t say.

Insomnia One Liners:

• Definition of insomnia: Inability to sleep until it’s time to get up.
• Why is it that the one who snores always goes to sleep first?
• Husband: Darling, I’ve got terrible insomnia. Wife: Don’t worry about it, just go to sleep and you’ll feel better in the morning.
• Insomnia is the triumph of mind over mattress.
• My insomnia is so bad that I can’t even sleep on the job!

I love it when gambling goes mainstream, whether it’s through a top sports team being sponsored by a bookmaker or when celebs endorse it in any which way. Recently, I learned that my all-time favorite actress Catherine Zeta Jones is going to star alongside Bruce Willis in a new gambling movie called The Lay Favorite. This film is an adaption of Beth Raymer’s gambling memoir and the lovely Catherine will play the wife of an iconic gambler played by Willis. Hollywood whispers are that filming will begin in New Orleans in April 2011. Can’t wait!

Courtesy of Al Lowe’s Humor Site

How many studio executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
We don’t know. Light bulbs last longer than studio executives.

How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1,000. One to do it and the others to say, “I would’ve done that differently.”

How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?
If we change the light bulb, we’ll have to change everything.

How many P. A.’s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Nine. One to do it and eight others to wish they’d been asked.

How many prop masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Light bulb? Light bulb? The script doesn’t mention any light bulb!

How many union electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. You got a problem with that?

Software groups are falling over their feet trying to create games that are based on popular themes, images, characters or TV programs. I read this week that GTech G2 will be rolling out some fancy new titles later this year, based on the popular TV show, CSI: Crime Scene after it inked a lucrative new deal with CBS. Gone are the days when the best images we’d see on a slot game were liberty bells and lucky 7’s. Today, it’s all about DNA, fingerprints, murder weapons and shady alibis! Can’t wait to see these games up and running!

You know that you’re addicted to CSI when you:

• Wear latex gloves at home.
  You get arrested when crossing the yellow tape.
  You start knocking on walls to find a dead body between them.
  You start studying chemistry to understand more about those chemical reactions.
  You start talking to other people with your head slanted, like Horatio.
  You change your lighting to UV, just to see those stains in your carpet.
  You dust for prints in your knife drawer.
  You walk around with a mag-lite.
  You never work/go out/date/do anything on Thursday nights because you’ll miss CSI (even though you tape it).
  You plan on moving to Las Vegas or Miami.
  You ask your sister to bring you a CSI t-shirt from Miami.
  You match your friends’ personalities with those of the CSI characters.

If you think that life ends when you hit retirement age, take inspiration from this guy: 102 (!) year old Andrew Amatrudo hits the poker tables at the Taj Mahal Casino in Atlantic City every single day, playing stud poker, socializing with his buddies and generally enjoying life. Of course, it helps that Amatrudo – who is in perfect health – lives right next door to the casino in the appropriately named Best of Life Park apartments. Other than his family (including a 74 year old daughter!), Andy loves nothing more than to play poker each day, surrounded by friends and fellow poker fans. What a great way to spend the last years of your life!

Courtesy emmitsburg.net

An Octogenarian, who was an avid golfer, moved to a new town and joined the local Country Club. 
He went to the Club for the first time to play, but he was told there wasn’t anyone with whom he could play because they were already out on the course. He repeated several times that he really wanted to play.
Finally, the Assistant Pro said he would play with him and asked how many strokes he wanted for a bet. The 80 year old said, “I really don’t need any strokes, because I have been playing quite well. The only real problem I have is getting out of sand traps.”
And he did play well. Coming to the par four 18th they were all even. The pro had a nice drive and was able to get on the green and 2-putt for a par. The old man had a nice drive, but his approach shot landed in a sand trap next to the green. Playing from the bunker, he hit a high ball which landed on the green and rolled into the hole! Birdie, match and all the money!
The Pro walked over to the sand trap where his opponent was still standing in the trap. He said, ” Nice shot, but I thought you said you have a problem getting out of sand traps?”
Replied the Octogenarian, “I do. Please give me a hand.”