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Korean entertainer, Shin Jung Hwan, was sentenced to eight months in jail last week for gambling. Korean law prohibits the country’s citizens from gambling in casinos – in the country or overseas. However, Shin travelled to Cebu in order to gamble, and that’s when his luck ran out. First of all, he lost all his money and therefore had to borrow from a casino lender. He then failed to return to South Korea to tape his shows and it was discovered that he was stuck in Cebu because he couldn’t pay his gambling debts and his passport had been used as collateral. He finally managed to leave Cebu but stayed away from Korea for five months, hiding out in Macau, Hong Kong, Nepal and Japan. When he did finally decide to enter Korea, he was immediately arrested at the airport and indicted for gambling before being sentenced last week. And let’s not forget Shin’s leg injury, which has left him using crutches. This is one unlucky gambler!!

Courtesy of Desi Jokes

A rabbi is sitting on an airplane next to a Korean guy. After they have been flying together in silence for a while, the rabbi leans over and says, “You know, I’ve never forgiven you Chinese for what you did at Pearl Harbor.”

The Korean looks shocked and replies, “What the hell are you talking about?!?!? It was the Japanese the bombed Pearl Harbor, not the Chinese. And besides, I’m not Chinese or Japanese, I’m Korean!”

The rabbi says: ”Korean, Japanese, Chinese, what’s the difference?”

A little while later, the Korean man says, “You know, I’ve never forgiven you Jews for sinking the Titanic.” The rabbi looks confused and mad and says, “What are you talking about? The Jews didn’t have anything to do with that! An iceberg sank the Titanic!”

The Korean guy replies, “Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, what’s the difference?”

If your dream has always been to own a poker room sign from a genuine casino, or chandeliers that graced the bedrooms of a Vegas hotel, now is the time to head on down to the Sahara hotel-casino in Sin City, which is closing its doors after being in operation for 59 years. The owners of the resort said that every single item will be up for sale, ranging from bedroom furnishings to neon signs, and the casino will not close its doors until all the items have been sold. Also up for sale is the gazebo that graced the hotel’s poolside area, as well as lounge chairs, banquet equipment and even the Beatles sign suite, commemorating the time that the band stayed at the Sahara. If you visualize your home filled with genuine items from a great historical location, this may be one liquidation sale worth visiting.

Courtesy of Jokes4All:

One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on an exotic parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid. The price was high but the fine bird was finally his!

As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, “I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can’t talk!”
Don’t worry,” said the Auctioneer, “He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?”

Nine waitresses, who used to work at the Resorts Casino in Atlantic City, have hired a high profile feminist lawyer to fight their case against the casino bosses. The cocktail waitresses, all middle aged, claim that after the casino’s rebranding policy meant that they did not conform to the “younger, slimmer, sexier and more conforming to a stereotype of feminine beauty” and that they were not sexy enough to wear the 20’s flapper style outfits required. The women said that they were forced to train new hires, and were then dismissed the moment their replacements learned the job. They are claiming for back pay, as well as damages for pain and suffering…. Their lawyer, by the way, may need to rethink her line of defense. “Women are not just sex objects,” she said. “They are real human beings.” You don’t say.

Courtesy of Joke Buddha:

A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, “Pardon me, ma’am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.”
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, “No he didn’t. He just walked in the door.”

The Mardi Grass Casino and Resort may have saved the skin of future coach of West Virginia University’s football program, Dana Holgorsen for now, by refusing to allow the press access to footage taken of the allegedly drunk coach-in-waiting. The police were contacted by the casino’s security to have Holgorsen removed but the casino said that it wanted to protect the identity of other non-related parties and therefore was not making the footage public. It was later reported that Holgorsen has apparently had several drunk run-ins – as much as six, as reported in some media outlets – and has been asked to leave or has been banned from other hotels, casinos and racetracks. Who wants to bet that Holgorsen may need to take some desperate measures to clean up his act if he wants to remain a candidate in the race for head coach at WVU??

Courtesy of the JokeYard:

The policeman had the bar under surveillance a few minutes before closing time, so he could see who comes out drunk.
The first one out the door at 2:00 o’clock weaved down the sidewalk, then fell on the curb. Sluggishly got up, then tried his keys in five cars before finding his own car.
Once inside his car, he fumbled with his keys for 2 or 3 minutes.
Meanwhile, all the club patrons had gotten into their cars and driven away, leaving this one fellow quite alone in the parking lot.
Finally, he got his car started and began to very slowly drive away.
Immediately, the police car was behind him with lights flashing.
The policeman asked the man to take a breathalyzer test, to which he readily agreed.
When the reading was 0.0%, the policeman said, “How can this be?”
To which the man replied, “Because tonight, I’m the designated decoy.”