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OK, so what do you do if your superiors at work find you gambling and tell you to stop? If you’re one of 100 policemen from the Mahamaya Nagar district in India, you do the obvious – go on a rampage, damage cars and stage a blockade for three hours. The incident happened when the constables, who were camping out in a nearby area while deployed on poll duty, were caught playing cards and gambling by officials. One of the officials reportedly slapped one of the constables after he “misbehaved”, which led to the rampage by his fellow policemen. The most ironic part of this whole story is that the constables – and I quote – had “been sent to polling stations for law and order duty.” Hysterical!

Courtesy of www.workjoke.com:

A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy’s window and says “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.”
The man says, “Sorry officer I can’t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I’ll have a really bad asthma attack.”
“Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample.”
“I can’t do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I’ll bleed to death.”
“Well, then we need a urine sample.”
“I’m sorry officer I can’t do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I’ll get really low blood sugar.”
“Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line.”
“I can’t do that, officer.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m too drunk.”

Three firefighters from Batavia, New York decided that their life needed a little spicing up and started a gambling enterprise on the side. Their business was busted after Batavia police received a tip off and after a six month investigation, the police seized computers, cell phones, gambling records and even cocaine. According to the police, the men collected bets on college and professional basketball and football games, with some individual bets reaching up to $1,000. It was noted that some of the wagers were taken while the men were working as firefighters on duty. One of the men’s defense attorneys made his opinion known quite clearly. “I think prosecuting people for gambling in New York state is at best, dumb,” he said. “As I’m leaving the sheriff’s office, there is a sign with an arrow that says Batavia Downs Racetrack and Casino. If you drive the other way there are lottery tickets at every corner, Powerball everywhere. I just don’t understand it.” With no connection to the case, I think this guy has a point.

A fireman is at a station house working outside on the fire truck when he sses a kid next door. The boy is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. He is wearing a fireman’s hat and has the wagon tied to a dog.
“Hey kid, whatcha doing?” asks the fireman.
“I’m pretending to be a fireman,” said the kid. “This is my fire truck.”
The fireman looks closer and says: “Hey, that’s a cool fire truck!”
“Thanks Mister,” replies the child.
Taking an even closer look, the fireman sees that the kid has tied the dog to the wagon by its testicles.
“Look kid,” said the fireman. “I don’t want to tell you how to run your fire truck but if you were to tie the rope around the dog’s neck, I think you could go faster.”
“Yeah,” says the kid. “You’re probably right. But then I wouldn’t have a siren.”

By running one of the biggest casino businesses in Britain, you may think that Peter Brooks would at least try and sell the idea of gambling when he gives interviews. So it was a bit weird to see the quoted in ThisIsMoney.co.uk as saying that gambling is too scary for him. “I have the same hesitation as other people do,” he is quoted. “Once you start, is it going to be OK? So I don’t even put my foot in.” Strange, coming from a guy who is part of a multinational conglomerate that owns 44 casinos in the UK alone, and who once owned a stake in a horse-racing syndicate. I liked the fact, though, that Brooks started out wanting to be become an attorney and even studied law at Southampton University. Talk about being a walking paradox …

And on the subject of horse racing:

“David Beckham decides to go horse riding. Although he has had no previous experience he skillfully mounts the horse and appears in complete command of the situation as the horse gallops along at a steady pace, Victoria admiringly watching her husband. After a short time David becomes a little casual and he begins to lose his grip in the saddle, he panics and grabs the horse round the neck shouting for it to stop. Victoria starts to scream and shout for someone to help her husband as David has by this time slipped completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground by the fact that he still has a grip on the horse’s neck. David decides that his best chance is to leap away from the horse, but his foot has become entangled in one of the stirrups. As the horse gallops along David’s head is banging on the ground and he is slipping into unconsciousness. Victoria is now frantic and screams and screams for help!! Hearing her screams, the Tesco Security Guard comes out of the store and unplugs the horse!”