$1 Million Lottery Ticket Blows in with the Wind

Ok, so this is stuff that fantasies are made of. A 27 year old Long Island, NY resident was sweeping away debris left over from Hurricane Sandy when he suddenly chanced upon a Win $1,000 for Life lottery ticket lying damp in a pile of leaves. Marvin Rosales-Martinez took a one in a whatever-zillion chance and checked the numbers after drying the ticket – only to find that he was the winner of a $1 million prize! The landscaper was forced to wait a whole year until the state lottery put its ‘finders keepers’ policy into gear and awarded him the money after nobody else came forward to claim the prize. Of course, the biggest winner of them all in this tale was Uncle Sam, who took a good few hundred thousand in taxes on the lump sum of $780,000 that Martinez chose to take.

What is Father Christmas’s tax status?

Elf employed

What do cannibal tax advisors do after their Christmas dinner?

Toast their clients

Did you hear about the cannibal tax accountant?

He charges an arm and a leg

What does a tax account do to liven up the office party?

Not show up

How do you know you have a good tax accountant?

He’s got a loophole named after him