BonusRating

I can’t really blame two jurors who were part of a panel to acquit all the defendants in a controversial gambling corruption trial in Alabama. The pair slammed prosecutors who have decided to retry the case because, in their opinion, key witnesses lacked credibility and presented weak evidence. The jurors had no problem speaking out against the decision, saying: “I cannot believe the government is going to retry these people because, for one, they do not have evidence of wrongdoing.” In the meantime, one of the defendants, Joseph “Ray” Crosby was found dead over the weekend, which may affect the rest of the trial.

And speaking about juries:

“A man was chosen for jury duty who really wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial, he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin, he asked if he could approach the bench.

“Your Honor”, he said, “I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in the blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and I thought, ‘He’s a crook! He’s guilty!’ So, your Honor, I cannot possibly stay on this jury!”

The tired and annoyed judge replied, “Get back in the jury box, you fool.
That man is the lawyer.”

Ah – I love lottery stories with happy endings (even if they do turn me green with envy). So this 29 year old guy bought a lottery ticket and left it in the glove box of his battered old Audi. Two weeks later, his granddad told him that the UK Lottery operators were calling on people to check their tickets because a £1 million prize was still unclaimed. Gavin Davies decided to listen to his elders and checked the ticket – only to find that he was indeed the lucky winner. And what did this young cage-fighter spend one fifth of his winnings on? The car of his dreams – a brand new Lamborghini Spyder L560-4. Lucky bugger.

 A GT6 pulled alongside a Lamborghini at a traffic light.
“Do you have a car phone?” its driver asked the man in the Lamborghini
“Of course I do,” was the haughty reply.
“Do you have a fax machine?”
The Lamborghini driver sighed. “I have that too.”
“Do you have a double bed in the back?” the GT6 driver wanted to know. Ashen-faced, the Lamborghini driver sped off.
That afternoon, he had a mechanic install a double bed in his car.
A week later, the Lamborghini driver passed the same GT6, parked on the side of the road with its back windows fogged up and steam pouring out. The arrogant driver pulled over, got out of the Lamborghini and banged on the GT6′s rear window. “I want you to know that I’ve had a double bed installed,” bragged the Lamborghini driver.
The GT6 driver rolled his window down and frowned at the Lamborghini driver. “You got me out of the shower to tell me that?”

Are online poker players going on a witch hunt against a virtual enemy or are their complaints justified? A mysterious new online player has appeared at PokerStars using the name RaiseOnce and many are convinced that he’s the one and only Phil Ivey due to their similar playing styles. However, beyond the question of who this anonymous player is, many are criticizing Ivey (if it is him, of course) of switching from Full Tilt to Poker Stars after he made a big scene about not playing again until Full Tilt players were paid back the money owed to them. As one angry poster put it: “People have every right to be angry over Ivey playing. The specifics of who knew what are far from certain, but many people lost life-altering money at that damn site.”

And on the subject of Iv(e)ys, but of a different kind, and courtesy of College Confidential:

How many Princeton students does it take to change a lightbulb? Two — one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.

How many Brown students does it take to change a lightbulb? Eleven — one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience.

How many Penn students does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but he gets six credits for it.

How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb? None — New Haven looks better in the dark.

How many Harvard students does it take to change a lightbulb? One — he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

If there’s one personality that I like in the online gambling industry, it has to be the flamboyant billionaire founder of the Bodog Brand, Calvin Ayre. This week, as he does at the beginning of each new year, Ayre predicted what 2012 has in store for us in terms of online betting around the world. Ayre said that we won’t be seeing much movement in the US, and called the European market “stale and mature.” The hottest locations on the globe, according to Ayre, will be Asia and Latin America, with virginal markets and keen gamblers. At the end of his blog, Ayre made me chuckle when he predicted that his Calvin Ayre gambling site would become the leader of all online gambling sites. It can’t be said that Ayre is lacking in the confidence department!

A billionaire dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. St Peter asks him: “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?”

The billionaire thought a moment, then said: “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.”

St. Peter asks Gabriel to check this out in the records, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that it was true. St. Peter said: “Well, that’s fine, but it’s not really quite enough to get you into Heaven.”

The billionaire said: “Wait, wait! There’s more! Three years ago, I also gave a homeless person a quarter.” St. Peter nodded to Gabriel who, after a moment, nodded back to affirm that it was true.

St. Peter then whispered to Gabriel, “Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?”

Gabriel gave the billionaire a sidelong glance and then said to St. Peter: “Let’s give him back his 50 centers and tell him to go to Hell.”