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By running one of the biggest casino businesses in Britain, you may think that Peter Brooks would at least try and sell the idea of gambling when he gives interviews. So it was a bit weird to see the quoted in ThisIsMoney.co.uk as saying that gambling is too scary for him. “I have the same hesitation as other people do,” he is quoted. “Once you start, is it going to be OK? So I don’t even put my foot in.” Strange, coming from a guy who is part of a multinational conglomerate that owns 44 casinos in the UK alone, and who once owned a stake in a horse-racing syndicate. I liked the fact, though, that Brooks started out wanting to be become an attorney and even studied law at Southampton University. Talk about being a walking paradox …

And on the subject of horse racing:

“David Beckham decides to go horse riding. Although he has had no previous experience he skillfully mounts the horse and appears in complete command of the situation as the horse gallops along at a steady pace, Victoria admiringly watching her husband. After a short time David becomes a little casual and he begins to lose his grip in the saddle, he panics and grabs the horse round the neck shouting for it to stop. Victoria starts to scream and shout for someone to help her husband as David has by this time slipped completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground by the fact that he still has a grip on the horse’s neck. David decides that his best chance is to leap away from the horse, but his foot has become entangled in one of the stirrups. As the horse gallops along David’s head is banging on the ground and he is slipping into unconsciousness. Victoria is now frantic and screams and screams for help!! Hearing her screams, the Tesco Security Guard comes out of the store and unplugs the horse!”

I can’t really blame two jurors who were part of a panel to acquit all the defendants in a controversial gambling corruption trial in Alabama. The pair slammed prosecutors who have decided to retry the case because, in their opinion, key witnesses lacked credibility and presented weak evidence. The jurors had no problem speaking out against the decision, saying: “I cannot believe the government is going to retry these people because, for one, they do not have evidence of wrongdoing.” In the meantime, one of the defendants, Joseph “Ray” Crosby was found dead over the weekend, which may affect the rest of the trial.

And speaking about juries:

“A man was chosen for jury duty who really wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial, he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin, he asked if he could approach the bench.

“Your Honor”, he said, “I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in the blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and I thought, ‘He’s a crook! He’s guilty!’ So, your Honor, I cannot possibly stay on this jury!”

The tired and annoyed judge replied, “Get back in the jury box, you fool.
That man is the lawyer.”

Ah – I love lottery stories with happy endings (even if they do turn me green with envy). So this 29 year old guy bought a lottery ticket and left it in the glove box of his battered old Audi. Two weeks later, his granddad told him that the UK Lottery operators were calling on people to check their tickets because a £1 million prize was still unclaimed. Gavin Davies decided to listen to his elders and checked the ticket – only to find that he was indeed the lucky winner. And what did this young cage-fighter spend one fifth of his winnings on? The car of his dreams – a brand new Lamborghini Spyder L560-4. Lucky bugger.

 A GT6 pulled alongside a Lamborghini at a traffic light.
“Do you have a car phone?” its driver asked the man in the Lamborghini
“Of course I do,” was the haughty reply.
“Do you have a fax machine?”
The Lamborghini driver sighed. “I have that too.”
“Do you have a double bed in the back?” the GT6 driver wanted to know. Ashen-faced, the Lamborghini driver sped off.
That afternoon, he had a mechanic install a double bed in his car.
A week later, the Lamborghini driver passed the same GT6, parked on the side of the road with its back windows fogged up and steam pouring out. The arrogant driver pulled over, got out of the Lamborghini and banged on the GT6′s rear window. “I want you to know that I’ve had a double bed installed,” bragged the Lamborghini driver.
The GT6 driver rolled his window down and frowned at the Lamborghini driver. “You got me out of the shower to tell me that?”