Online Casino News » gambling ban

Cyprus Tries to Ban Online Gambling

admin — Sat, 18 Dec 2010 10:14:27 +0000

Cyprus is going for a long shot as far as odds go. The government of this island state is making an attempt to ask the European Commission if it has its permission to ban online gambling outright in the country. What reason, you may ask? Because Cyprus believes that online gambling has driven the rate of crime up. Analysts say that the government doesn’t stand much chance in getting its request okayed, which will force Cyprus to appeal – beginning a process that will take years and years. Methinks that Cyprus should simply do like it the Joneses (in this case, Spain, France, etc. etc.) and open its doors to foreign operators. What you can’t beat, join!

And on the subject of the power of the EC:

“The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of “Euro-English”.
In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”, which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”, making words like “fotograf” 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent “e” is disgrasful.
By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI COM TRU!” www.davidbrown.co.uk

Archbishop Drops his Gambling Ban

admin — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 22:20:46 +0000

Remember how I reported a couple of weeks ago about the Archdiocese in Edmonton, Canada who placed a ban on the local Catholic School District accepting money from gambling sources, including the lottery? I also predicted that the guy didn’t stand a chance in, er, hell to get this ban enforced. And here we see the news that the October 1st deadline has come and gone – and Archbishop Richard Smith has had to announce that a status quo will remain until ‘replacement funding’ can be found. And since nobody is rushing out to sign over seven digit checks to the archdiocese, I guess this will be an indefinite arrangement. Catholic schools and organizations earn literally millions of dollars each year through the Alberta lottery and if these funds suddenly dried up, they would really be in dire straits.
Courtesy of InnocentEnglish.com:

A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trap door and announce, “I descend into hell!”
A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would spring, and the actor would drop from view.
The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, “I descend into hell!” the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend.
One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled:
“Hallelujah! Hell is full!”

Software Group Tells Canadian Gamblers: I’m the Boss

admin — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 22:42:17 +0000

I heard that Canadian gamblers got a huge shock this week when they were told by some of the favorite sites that they wouldn’t be able to play there anymore. At the time of going to press, these sites included bwin, Casino Club and Paddy Power – all powered by Boss Media software group. After doing a bit of investigation of my own, I was left feeling as perplexed as ever. Apparently, an email was sent to the players saying that “due to the introduction of new regulations”, they would not be able to download and play the games at these sites anymore. So here’s a question I’m posing to Boss Media: WTF??? What new regulations are you guys talking about? There have been no new regulations in Canada to speak of regarding the country’s online gambling laws. I’m dying to learn what’s behind all of this….

So, in honor of software companies doing slightly crazy things:

“The Director of a software company proudly announced that a flight software developed by the company was installed in an airplane and the airlines was offering free first flights to the members of the company. “Who are interested?” the Director asked. Nobody came forward. Finally, one person volunteered. The brave Software Tester stated, ‘I will do it. I know that the airplane will not be able to take off.’”

MP in Gambling Trouble Down Under

admin — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 19:15:15 +0000

Oh dear! A member of the Australian parliament has been forced to resign after he was caught using his office computer to trawl adult and online gambling sites. Paul McLeay was forced to resign, after he was rapped by the Premier for his behavior. After saying that this was not the behavior she expected of a Minister, Premier Kristina Keneally then went on to say: “Some people may choose to undertake similar activities in their personal lives, but I cannot condone the use of parliamentary resources by a minister in this way.” So let me get this clear. It’s totally ok to watch porn and gamble online if you’re at home but you should maybe give it a break when you hit the office. What a cool premier! The red-faced Labor MP could only mumble an apology to his wife and family…

And so, in honor of Australian family honor, thanks to ConvictCreations:

“An old Australian lies dying in his bed. He calls over Shirley, his faithful wife of 60 years, and says, “Shirl, when we started out, tried to buy a business in the depression, went bust: you were with me” “Oh, yes, Bruce”, she says. Then the war started, I joined up, and was sent to the front line, where I lost me legs. You stayed with me.” “Oh yes, Bruce” she says. “Then, came home, couldn’t get a job, due to me disability, and bought a farm.” “Oh, yes, Bruce”, she says. “The farm flooded, then just when we got over that, there was a bushfire, and then the drought, which wiped us right out: you still stayed with me.” “Oh yes, Bruce,” “Now here I am, in excruciating pain, about to die, useless and you’re still with me.” “Yes Bruce.” “Shirl.” “Yes, Bruce?” “You’re bloody bad luck”

Chinese Slam Online Gaming Even Harder

admin — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 09:01:21 +0000

It’s not bad enough that the Chinese government practically locks away anybody caught gambling online forever and beyond, the guys in the country’s Ministry of Culture have decided to go one step further. The latest announcement from China is that it will not be permitted to use images of sexuality, violence or gambling to advertise online games. Apparently, it all started when the creators of the game Dahua Xuanyuan used Chinese model Zhang Xiaoya to turn the game into a superb hit. The competitors tried to find their own sexy models to promote their own games, and a new campaign, featuring sex video star, Shou Shou was broadcast to promote the game, Journey to the West. This is where the government jumped in and banned the use of sexuality and violence. And simply so, without any reason, decided to ban images of gambling as well. Sigh.

So, here’s a joke about a couple that may have been watching too many of these banned ads:

A Chinese couple have a new baby. After the birth, the nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, black baby boy. “Congratulations,” says the nurse to the new parents. “What will you name the baby?”
The puzzled father looks at his new child and says “I think we will name him “Sum Ting Wong.”