Posts Tagged ‘gambling politician’

Furious Australian MP Quits Over Broken Gambling Reform Promises

Monday, January 23rd, 2012

When Independent Australian MP, Andrew Wilkie promised to support the Gillard minority government in return for significant gambling reforms, he said that if she ever backed down from her promise, he would drop his support. Up until the last minute, it seemed that Ms. Gillard would go ahead with the reforms which created a huge wave of opposition. So when the PM announced a watered-down reform place this weekend, you can’t really blame the opposition leader for calling her “the great deceiver” and becoming Prime Minister under false pretences. Tony Abbott went even further by saying that “nothing this prime minister says can be taken seriously ever again.” Wilkie, meanwhile, has said that he will “end his current relationship with her government.” When they say gambling is a controversial topic, they got that one right!

And on the subject of trust:

In days of old, when knights were bold, this particular knight was leaving for a crusade and called one of his squires: “I’m leaving for the crusade.
Here is the key to my wife’s chastity belt. If, in 10 years, I haven’t returned, you may use the key as I’m sure she will have needs.”

The knight sets out on the dusty road, armored from head to toe. He takes one last look at his castle and sees the squire rushing across the drawbridge, yelling, “Stop! Stop! Thank goodness I was able to catch you. This is the wrong key!”

Gambling Mogul versus Obama

Saturday, July 23rd, 2011

It’s round number one in the war between corporate America and the White House. Steve Wynn, the Chief Executive Officer of Wynn Resorts, slammed President Barack Obama and his political philosophy, saying that they caused stagnant job growth and a week business climate in the United States. Wynn called the Obama administration “the greatest wet blanket to business and progress and job creation in my lifetime.” Wynn also called the President’s political philosophy “weird” and said that “until he’s gone, everybody’s going to be sitting on their thumbs.” Things must be really heating up, considering that Wynn is a major Democratic supporter, having John Kerry and his run for presidency in 2004.

A couple of Democrat jokes – please don’t take offence if you’re that way inclined!!

Why was Obama so mad when he heard about the AIG bonuses? Because so many at AIG got a larger bonus from AIG than he did.

Did you hear about the reporter who asked Obama a hard question? Neither have we!

How many democrats does it take to change a light bulb?  5! Al Gore to ensure it’s a CFL, and EPA agent in case the blub breaks and a mercury cleanup is necessary, a person to bail out the home owner, an ACORN member to ensure that the right person changed the bulb, and a member of the media to celebrate the change.

How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s irrelevant; they still don’t know they’re in the dark!

Gambling in Georgia? Call in the Narcotics Squad

Saturday, October 16th, 2010

I had a good laugh yesterday reading how authorities in Harris County, Georgia dealt with complaints about gambling machines in several locations. Citizens called the police after saying that they (gasp) saw real money being paid out on popular casino games at gas stations and pool bars. The law enforcement authorities decided to pull a daring midday (!) raid on eight different locations simultaneously. The funny part (IMHO) is that they had to call in the Metro Narcotics Task Force to help. Not because there were drugs involved, of course – only because Harris County didn’t have the manpower to conduct such a large scale raid! Remember, we’re talking about eight locations here…. To cut a long story short, $60K in cash was seized, as well as 60 gambling machines. And, no, there weren’t any drugs found….

Courtesy of AhaJokes:

The phone rings at FBI headquarters.

“Hello? I’m calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!”

“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”

The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave.

The phone rings at the neighbor’s house. Hey, Clifford, did the FBI come?” “Yep.” “Did they chop your firewood?” “Yep.” “Great, now it’s your turn to call. I need my garden plowed.”

MP in Gambling Trouble Down Under

Wednesday, September 1st, 2010

Oh dear! A member of the Australian parliament has been forced to resign after he was caught using his office computer to trawl adult and online gambling sites. Paul McLeay was forced to resign, after he was rapped by the Premier for his behavior. After saying that this was not the behavior she expected of a Minister, Premier Kristina Keneally then went on to say: “Some people may choose to undertake similar activities in their personal lives, but I cannot condone the use of parliamentary resources by a minister in this way.” So let me get this clear. It’s totally ok to watch porn and gamble online if you’re at home but you should maybe give it a break when you hit the office. What a cool premier! The red-faced Labor MP could only mumble an apology to his wife and family…

And so, in honor of Australian family honor, thanks to ConvictCreations:

“An old Australian lies dying in his bed. He calls over Shirley, his faithful wife of 60 years, and says, “Shirl, when we started out, tried to buy a business in the depression, went bust: you were with me” “Oh, yes, Bruce”, she says. Then the war started, I joined up, and was sent to the front line, where I lost me legs. You stayed with me.” “Oh yes, Bruce” she says. “Then, came home, couldn’t get a job, due to me disability, and bought a farm.” “Oh, yes, Bruce”, she says. “The farm flooded, then just when we got over that, there was a bushfire, and then the drought, which wiped us right out: you still stayed with me.” “Oh yes, Bruce,” “Now here I am, in excruciating pain, about to die, useless and you’re still with me.” “Yes Bruce.” “Shirl.” “Yes, Bruce?” “You’re bloody bad luck”

NH Governor Causes a Huh Moment

Wednesday, April 7th, 2010

Governor Lynch of New Hampshire definitely caused a ‘huh’ moment this weekend when he unveiled his new gambling plan. Remember, this is the guy who opposed a plan in the last legislative session that would’ve seen the expansion of gambling in the state. So what does this rabid anti gambling politician propose? To introduce online gambling to the state! Lots of people are scratching their heads over Lynch’s proposal. Even the gambling champion in the house, Sen. Lou D’Allesandro, noted that this was a strange route to take, saying: “if the governor is afraid of proliferation, what easier way to proliferate it than online gambling?” Online gamblers, meanwhile, are rejoicing about the new proposals. Very odd indeed!

So here’s a cute gambling joke I came across that doesn’t really tie in with today’s theme, but I thought I’d share it with you anyway.

 Gerta tells her friend that her husband is off on a trip.

 “He’s going to a casino in central Asia,” she said.

 The friend asks: “Tibet?”

 “Of course,” said Gerta irritably. “Why else would he go?!”