Signs that your 10 year old is gambling:

• He has painted the numbers 1 – 36 plus a O on the backyard merry go round.
• He posts a line on his 5th grade spelling bee.
• He knows how to convert money lines to must-win percentages.
• The last meal that your family ate at McDonalds was comped.
• He bought himself an iPad – with his own money.
• The Stardust sent him free airline tickets.
• He rolls his baby brother’s blocks and yells “seven come eleven!!!”
• He tries to double down when he plays Go Fish.

A guy goes to Vegas and wins $500,000 at the blackjack tables. He doesn’t want to share his good fortune with his wife, so he creeps home, digs a hole and buries the loot in his backyard. The next morning he wakes up and finds that the money is gone, with footsteps leading to his deaf-mute neighbor’s home. The enraged player hauls out a gun, goes to another neighbor (who happens to understand sign language) and together they enter the deaf-mute’s home. “Tell this guy that if he doesn’t tell me what he did with my cash, I’m going to kill him,” says the gambler. The neighbor signs to the deaf-mute who replies, “Ok, ok, tell him it’s under my bed.” To translator turns to the gambler and said: “He’s not going to tell you. He said he’d rather die first!”