BonusRating

They say that money brings out the worst of us, and that was certainly the case for a 72 year old employee of the Villages Hacienda Hills Country Club golf shop, Jeanette French. Each week, for nine years, French and her team of co-workers at the store would religiously contribute a dollar each to buy lottery tickets for the Florida lottery. Should one worker not be in the store on the day, another would put in the dollar and the absent worker would pay it back the next day. Such was the case when French was absent on the day her co-workers bought a winning ticket, bagging them $16 million. But while French says that she paid back the dollar before the prize was announced, her back-stabbing co-workers said she did not and refuse to share the winnings. A lawsuit has been filed to determine French’s rights to the windfall. With friends like that, who needs enemies!

Courtesy of AhaJokes:
”After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, “Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?”

“Yes,” the golfer responded.

“Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?”

“Yes, I did. How did you know?” he asked.

“Well,” said the policeman very seriously, “Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver’s windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn’t make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?”

The golfer thought it over carefully and responded…

“I think I’ll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb.””

A minister whose church takes a rather dim view on gambling has scooped a large lottery in the UK. Reverend Peter de Villiers, who lives in Lanarkshire but was born in South Africa, scooped £30,000 in a lottery jackpot in the UK and said that “his prayers had been answered.” Rev. de Villiers defended his decision to play £50 a week on the People’s Postcode Lottery, saying: “Ultimately it is down to the individual’s conscience. I don’t think we’ve done anything wrong. Like the Bible, our teachings are open to interpretation.” The church, in the meantime, said that it would be discussing the vice – described as “sinister” – with the good reverend privately.

Courtesy of Top Jokes:

“Pastor Brown was driving to church Sunday in his Cadillac when he spied Pastor White riding a bicycle. He stopped and asked, “What happened to your Chevy?”
“Things have been tight lately. I had to sell it to pay the church mortgage.”
“You need to preach on tithing and the importance of sharing one’s wealth with God and Church this Sunday, Pastor White. How do you think I got my new Cadillac?”
The next Sunday he saw Pastor White only this week he was walking. “What happened? Did you have to sell your bike?”
“No,” said Pastor White. “I think one of my parishioners stole it.”
“That’s terrible,” said Father Brown. “This Sunday, preach the Ten Commandments and when you get to ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal,’ lay it on extra heavy. I guarantee your bike will mysteriously reappear.”
Sure enough, the following Sunday Pastor Brown saw Pastor White, and this week he was back on his bicycle.
Pastor Brown said, “See? I told you the Ten Commandments would do the trick.” Pastor White sheepishly replied, “Well, it did help, but not like you thought. When I got to ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,’ I remembered where I left my bike!”