Posts Tagged ‘slot machines’

Defending Against the Hostile Force

Friday, May 7th, 2010

“We will… withstand… penetration by overseas hostile forces…” Are we talking about the script of the latest Star Trek movie here? Perhaps some forgotten war manuscripts uncovered in some dusty Polish archive? Nah. Nothing as dramatic. Just an announcement by the Chinese authorities on their latest plans to stifle the last breath out of the country’s already crushed online gambling industry. So here’s the quote in full: “We will strengthen the blocking of harmful information from outside China to prevent harmful information from being disseminated in China and withstand online penetration by overseas hostile forces,” said the head of the governmental Information Office. Geez, these guys are even going after GOOGLE!?! With literally millions of Chinese gambling online, these guys have quite a job ahead of them…

Charlie and Tommy go into their favorite casino to play the slot machines. They enter the casino and go their separate ways, with the agreement being that once they run out of money, they would wait for the other on the benches on the side of the room. Tommy finishes his bankroll rather quickly and makes s his way to the benches, where he sits and waits… and waits… and waits. Finally, after several hours, he sees Charlie approaching with a HUGE sack of money on his back. “Wow!” exclaims Tommy, “you’ve been lucky!”   “Yeah,” says Charlie with a grin, “I found this GREAT machine back there. It’s amazing. You win each time. Every time you put in a dollar, four quarters come out!!”

Lucky Dime

Saturday, April 24th, 2010

The gambling scene has been kind of dry this week so I decided to dedicate this whole blog to a joke that should lift our spirits.

 John heads off to Vegas with a $20,000 bankroll, gambles all weekend and he has lost literally everything. He badly needs the bathroom and asks another gambler to borrow a dime for the men’s room. In the bathroom, the stall door is open and he uses the last dime in the slot machines instead. Imagine his delight when he hits the $1000 jackpot! 

 John takes his winnings to the poker table, hits a lucky streak and by the end of the evening, he has won an incredible $20 million!

 John decides to share his tips with fellow gamblers and goes on the lecture circuit.  One day, while lecturing, he tells his audience that he will be eternally grateful to the man who allowed him to change his fortune on that fateful night, and if he ever found him, he would share his enormous fortune with him.

 Suddenly from the audience, a man shouts excitedly: “John, John! It was me! I was the guy that night you lent you the dime for the men’s room!”

 Bob gulp but gets his wits about him and says: “Ah, you’re not the guy I was looking for. I was actually talking about the guy who left the stall door open!