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Tiger Woods Hotdog Incident Prompts Betting Odds

admin — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 22:38:58 +0000

What sports betting sites won’t do to open new markets?! When Tiger Woods, golfing celeb, had a hot dog thrown at him during the final round of the Frys.com Open on Sunday, betting sites such as Ladbrokes hurried to open markets linked to this incident. The latest odds offered are on Woods signing an endorsement deal with a hotdog company by the end of this year. Considering that he has just signed on with Rolex after a long drought, following his self-imposed exile from golf, it may be a good time now to bet on future endorsements that Woods may sign. But somehow hotdog companies may seem like a long shot…
It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: “Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today.”

Little Johnny says to himself “Good, I want to get outta here. I’m smart and will answer the question.”

Teacher: “Who said ‘Four Score and Seven Years Ago’?”

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, “Abraham Lincoln.”

Teacher: “That’s right Susie, you can go home.”

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: “Who said ‘Ask not, what your country can do for you’?”

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, “John F. Kennedy.”

Teacher: “That’s right Nancy , you may also leave.”

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, “I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!”

The teacher turns around: “NOW WHO SAID THAT?”

Johnny: “TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?”

Tiger Woods Return Triggers Feminist Fury

admin — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 20:55:55 +0000

While I was thrilled to read this week that Tiger Woods is returning to pick up his golfing career, and I’m looking forward to doing some serious golf betting at my favorite sportsbook sites, it also amused me to see a piece in the prestigious New York Daily about the choice of the golfer’s location to make his big comeback. The author of the piece, Filip Bondy, attacked Woods for choosing Augusta, which he describes as a “home of storied, institutionalized sexism”, while he continues to seek “forgiveness for his gallivanting, womanizing ways.” I mean COME ON! Ok, so the guy seriously needs some help and hopefully he’ll get it in rehab, but to go so far as to believing that Woods schemed up the plan to return to Augusta which has a history of sexism, all the while groveling for forgiveness for being sexist, is beyond absurd.

So in honor of Tiger’s return to the greens, here are a few Tiger quips we’ve heard since the whole affair exploded last Thanksgiving:

Just because you’re the world’s no. 1 golfer, it doesn’t mean you can’t be beaten by your wife.
What’s Tiger Woods’ new name? Cheetah
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.
What do Tiger Wood and baby seals have in common? They’re both in danger of being clubbed by Norwegians.

Tiger Finds Himself in the Woods

admin — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:43:27 +0000

I’m not usually one to mock the misfortunes of others. But – honestly! – nobody can say that Tiger Woods didn’t see it coming! The golfing icon didn’t REALLY expect his lovely Elin not to find out about his sordid affairs with no less than twelve lasses. And in the same vein, does he really expect his sponsors to sit around waiting for him to make up his mind about his date of return to the green? So, if I were Tiger Woods, I wouldn’t dismiss too lightly Paddy Power’s offer of a 5 year sponsorship deal that would have Mr. Woods endorse the sports betting group’s products for a massive $75 million. What’s wild is that the golfer’s agent says that they are “not involved in any discussions to add to his sponsorship portfolio at this time.” Come on, man, by the time this whole affair thing is over, there may not BE a sponsorship portfolio. Methinks that Tiger may be making yet another bad decision…

So, while we’re at it having a go at Tiger Woods, we’ll tell you about the time that the Pope and Woods died on the same day and because of an administrative mix up the Pope went to hell and Tiger Woods went to heaven. The Pope explains the situation to the administrative clerk in hell, and after checking the paperwork admits that there is an error.

“However”, the clerk explains, “it would be 24 hours before it can be rectified”. The next day the Pope is called and Hell’s staff bids him farewell. On the way up, the Pope meets Tiger Woods coming down from heaven and they stop to have a chat.

“Sorry about the mix up”, apologizes the Pope.

“No problem” replied Tiger Woods.

Pope: “I am really anxious to get to heaven.”

Tiger: “Why is that?”

Pope: “All my life I have wanted to meet the Virgin Mary.”

Tiger: “You’re a day late.”